General Social and Dining Etiquette Rules

Dress Code: Follow whatever dress code is requested on the invitation or suggested by the host/hostess.

Arrival: Arrive at least 10 minutes early unless otherwise specified. Never arrive late!

Hostess Gift: It is proper to bring a small hostess gift, one that the hostess is not obliged to use that very evening.

Seating: At a dinner party, wait for the host or hostess sits down before taking your seat. If the host/hostess asks you to sit, then do. At a very formal dinner party, if there are no name cards at the table, wait until the host indicates where you should sit. The seating will typically be man-woman-man-woman with the women seated to the right of the men.

Toast: Sometimes a toast is offered instead of a prayer. Always join in with a toast. If the host stands up during the toast, also stand up.

Serving food:

Food is served from the left. Dishes are removed from the right.

Always say please when asking for something.

At a restaurant, be sure to say thank you to your server and bus boy after they have removed any used items.

Butter, spreads, or dips should be transferred from the serving dish to your plate before spreading or eating.

Passing dishes or food:

Pass food from the left to the right. Do not stretch across the table, crossing other guests, to reach food or condiments.

If another diner asks for the salt or pepper, pass both together, even if a table mate asks for only one of them. This is so dinner guests will not have to search for orphaned shakers.

Set any passed item, whether it’s the salt and pepper shakers, a bread basket, or a butter plate, directly on the table instead of passing hand-to-hand.

Never intercept a pass. Snagging a roll out of the breadbasket or taking a shake of salt when it is en route to someone else is a no-no.

Always use serving utensils to serve yourself, not your personal silverware.

Eating:

Do NOT talk with food in your mouth! This is very rude and distasteful to watch! Wait until you have swallowed the food in your mouth.

Always taste your food before seasoning it. Usually the hostess has gone to a lot of work making sure the food served is delicious to her standards. It is very rude to add salt and pepper before tasting the food.

Do not blow on your food to cool it off. If it is too hot to eat, take the hint and wait until it cools.

Always scoop food, using the proper utensil, away from you.

Cut only enough food for the next mouthful (cut no more than two bites of food at a time). Eat in small bites and slowly.

Table Manners:

Unfold your napkin and place it on your lap within 1 minute of sitting at the table to dine. When you are finished with your dinner, place it loosely on the table, not on the plate and never on your chair.

Do not clean up spills with your own napkin and do not touch items that have dropped on the floor. You can use your napkin to protect yourself from spills. Then, simply and politely ask your server to clean up and to bring you a replacement for the soiled napkin or dirty utensil.

Loud eating noises such as slurping and burping are very impolite. The number one sin of dinner table etiquette!

Say “Excuse me,” or “I’ll be right back,” before leaving the table. Do not say that you are going to the restroom.

Dividing or sharing the restaurant bill with others:

Always assume that if you are dining in a group of more than 6 people (3 couples), that the check is going to be divided evenly among everyone.

If there are a couple people not drinking alcohol while the rest of the group is, separate the beverage total to take this into account and do not overcharge the non-drinkers